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Don't be Afraid to Ask for Help

21 Feb 2022 Article Image

I fell for him, I packed my life up and moved over to England after landing a job.  I got on the plane looking forward to start our life together. Got off the plane, he told me the job had been cancelled, he was stressed and angry, no mood to celebrate our new beginning.

He used this, to control our new life together.  Looking back at the 11 years he always blamed everything on me, took his anger and aggression out on me. Yet he never Hit me. he controlled me, our money.

I had to beg just to be able to buy new socks. He refused to let me have more than 1 pair of shoes. He stopped me from going out for walks time after time and other times, because my shoes were so worn, I could not walk in them and he would not let me get new ones.

I broke down, I told him I could no longer live like this, cause my only thought was to jump off a bridge

I told him exactly what I needed, he promised, yet he did the exact opposite, he did not care about the over 1000 times I went to bed sad, as long as I cooked, cleaned and was quiet.

I was supposed to make my escape, but covid happened, his holiday was postponed.

Then, I had 14 days to pack, say goodbye, to ask for help, and help I got! Yet I had been Afraid that no one would believe me.

Why was I so afraid, cause I am strong and seen as a strong person. Cause how can you be strong and controlled at the same time?  Trust me, you can!

I reported to the police that I was escaping, so there was no way he could report me as missing.   I escaped, and he has not tried to contact me or any of my friends.

Now, later, I have been waking up with a smile every day, my mind and body so relaxed, I have no regrets, I got new friends and I am signing the papers for my new home. I am ill now, but I smile. I am in physical pain, but I smile. I still got worries, but I smile.

I now clean my temporary home, dancing and smiling.

So please Do Not be Afraid, Ask for Help, they will believe you, they will support you, you will be happy and free.

I am Free!

I am Happy!

These are the words of a survivor of domestic abuse. By sharing her story, she hopes to give courage to women experiencing domestic abuse, to urge them to seek help.    

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, please call us on 01224 593381, email info@grampian-womens-aid.com or complete our online form for free, confidential advice.  

When our phone lines are closed, Scotland’s Domestic Abuse & Forced Marriage helpline is always available on 0800 027 1234, email helpline@sdafmh.org.uk or on WebChat.